Stress -- Part 2

Last time I posted an entry I talked about emotional or mental stressors.  This month I am writing about environmental stressors, or stress that our bodies are under from toxins in our environment.  These include many things we put into our bodies like food, water, air, and medications.  They also include the types of things we put on our bodies like hair dyes, nail polish, lotions, shampoos, soaps, sun block, make-up, and hair spray.  And they include the things we use around our bodies such as household cleaning products, air fresheners, laundry products, and lawn care applications.  

Perhaps the most impactful to our health are those things that we consume internally or put into our bodies.  Processed, dead foods or foods that are contaminated with pesticides, water that is not satisfactorily filtered, and air that is polluted cause the greatest amounts of bodily stress.  Our health and our very survival depend on good food, water, and air, yet we often don’t seem to make the connection.

When we consume, wear, or surround ourselves with unhealthy and toxic items our bodies have to work overtime to make sure they don’t harm us.   It was shocking for me to discover the acrobatics the body has to perform to try to stay in balance when we consume junk food, for example.

The body’s filtering system is amazing, but as with all types of filters over time they can get clogged with dirt, grime, and toxins.  The kidneys and liver are the primary filtering organs and making sure they’re functioning optimally can really help to keep the body healthy. The best ways to do that are to avoid processed and toxic foods, to pay attention to what you put on your body, and educate yourself about the household products you’re exposing yourself to.

Incorporating whole, raw, organic foods into your diet will help to keep your filtering and eliminative systems in fighting shape.  In the case of serious illness or toxicity, you may need to radically alter your diet to remove as many harmful substances as possible, as I did.

Anyone who seriously desires optimal health must eventually consider environmental stressors.  Simply think about what is going in your body, what is going on your body, and what you’re using around your body.

The Environmental Working Group (ewg.org) has a lot of information you can use to begin making informed choices about what to put in and use on and around your body.  Check it out and relieve some of the stress your body may be experiencing as a result of your environment.

Stress -- Part 1

I am writing about the topic of stress this month and next month because stress can wreak havoc in our lives and on our health.  Most illnesses can be traced back to some kind of emotional or physical stress.  Various lifestyle and environmental factors can stress the body to the point that it gets out of balance and becomes vulnerable to disease.  The thoughts that we think, the foods that we eat, and the lifestyle choices that we make all influence the body’s health positively or negatively.

Let’s break it down a little more.  For the purpose of this month’s blog entry, I’ll talk about the type of stress that is most familiar to us:  emotional or mental stress.  This kind of stress can be the result of having an overburdened schedule or feeling that we must be all things to all people.  It can also come from excessive worry, from constant striving, from feelings of worthlessness, or from relationships with difficult people.  It can come in reaction to an unsatisfying job, fear of the future, or concerns about our health.  Emotional or mental stress can come from almost anyplace or anything, because it is our reactions to people, circumstances, and ourselves that cause us stress.

Behind all feelings of stress are thoughts…..thoughts that things are not right and will never get better, thoughts that you’re a victim, thoughts that you’re stuck, thoughts that you can’t figure things out, thoughts of being overwhelmed, thoughts that you have to control people or the world, thoughts that you have to be, do, or have something in order to be happy, thoughts that you’re running out of time or money, and thoughts of regret about the past.  These are all life-depleting thoughts that actually affect the body.  Attached to those thoughts are negative energies which steal our joy, our strength, our peace, and our health.

Negative thoughts like those mentioned above cause the brain to shoot signals of stress through the body that begin a cascade of biochemical reactions, which, if left unchecked, cause much dis-ease.  On the other hand, even though the biochemical reactions are the same, stress in limited amounts, and at appropriate times can actually help us.  We have all heard of the fight or flight response.  When you’re in danger stress can help you to take immediate action.  Stress can also help you to take action toward accomplishing important goals (final exam or big work project).  There is even stress associated with positive events (wedding or birth of a child).  These temporary stressors are not the ones we are referring to here.  It is the prolonged stress from negative, fearful, and doomsday thinking that causes us the most harm.

In the cases of both “good” and “bad” stress, the adrenal glands are activated to provide mental alertness and physical energy.  These glands secrete adrenaline in response to what the hypothalamus in the brain communicates.  Cortisol is released at the same time to keep the body in homeostatis (balance) and according to the Mayo Clinic, "...curbs functions that would be nonessential or detrimental in a fight-or-flight situations". (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress/SR00001).  As mentioned previously, this biochemical reaction is an important survival mechanism of the human body to propel you into action.  However, when the body is forced to continually produce adrenaline and cortisol in response to ongoing stress messages from the hypothalamus a number of negative things begin to happen.  First, the adrenal glands become tired and then exhausted.  Further, cortisol, when continuously dripping in response to stress, becomes like a poison in the body….drip, drip, drip.  The result is dis-ease. 

Many conditions and symptoms are now attributed to stress and the resulting adrenal fatigue/adrenal exhaustion condition.  These include, but are not limited to, hypothyroidism, chronic fatigue, high blood pressure, fibromyalgia, digestive and eliminative problems, menstrual and hormonal problems, bone loss, a weakened immune system, weak heart and muscles, neurally mediated hypotension (low blood pressure upon standing), blood sugar imbalances, insomnia or interrupted sleep, unrefreshing sleep, pains of all kind, autoimmune disorders, and many other corollary health issues.    

There is much more to say on this issue and on how stress impacts the body, but the bottom line is that we all need to find ways to manage the stress in our lives so that it doesn’t negatively affect our health.  Ask yourself what thoughts you’re thinking that cause you the most stress.  What about your schedule or your life is causing you stress?  Begin to take steps to change your circumstances or your thoughts about your circumstances.  Your thoughts control every aspect of your life, even your health.  Your thoughts are both the cause of and the cure for stress.  That’s really good news, because your thinking is the one thing over which you DO have control.

(If you need a 3-minute mini vacation from stressful thoughts, watch http://www.thelaughtermovie.com).

Detachment

I attended a retreat this past weekend and the speaker shared on the topic of "Detachment."  Why would we even want to consider learning anything about detachment?  And, why would I choose detachment as a topic for a health coach blog?  It's because the ability to regularly detach helps the body and the mind to stay healthy.  Detachment helps you to slow down the pace of life a bit, it gives you the ability to get grounded, it puts you in a peaceful place, and it helps you to clear your mind.

Wikipedia defines detachment as non-attachment, or a state in which a person overcomes his or her attachment to desire for things, people or concepts of the world and thus attains a heightened perspective.  You might be thinking, I don't want any part of that!  But, wait! Detachment doesn't necessarily mean you have to give away all of your possessions or live like a hermit.  Let me give you my take on detachment and share with you some of what was discussed at the retreat.

Detachment is really about making room.  Making room in your schedule, room in your mind, room for creativity, room for love, room for important people, room for your most cherished goals, and room for YOU.  If you are a person of faith, detachment also helps you to make room for God.  Without room, life gets very crowded, confusing, and stressful. 

What takes up so much room anyway?  It isn't any one thing and it's different for each person. The retreat discussion revealed a number of things from which we may want to detach either physically or mentally:

Physically
- An overly busy schedule
- Television
- Computer games
- BlackBerry or iPod
- Possessions of any kind

Mentally
- Worry about the future
- The need for approval from others
- Perfectionism
- Constant busyness
- Others' opinions about us

These are very common attachment culprits and ones most of us can relate to, but I'm sure we can all come up with others that are specific to our own lives.  Are possessions, technology devices, and wanting to be and do our best bad?  Of course not, unless they're crowding out your joy, your peace, and your real self.

What is at the root of attachment?  Habit; fear that we're not good enough; fear of being alone; fear of losing control; belief that what we have determines our value; or thinking that we have to "stay ahead" in order to be somebody.

So, how do you practice detachment?  You can start by just going for a walk or sitting quietly and reflecting on the things that are crowding out your authentic self, your peace, and the people you hold most dearly.  Then, you try to begin trusting that who you are at your core is safe, valuable, and loved.

How Important is Your Self-Image?

Considering that everything you do in your life and that every action you take stems from the self-image you have of yourself, it is pretty darn important.  Maxwell Maltz, M.D., F.I.C.S., author of The New Psycho-Cybernetics, states, "The self-image controls what you can and cannot accomplish, what is difficult or easy for you, even how others respond to you just as certainly and scientifically as a thermostat controls the temperature in your home."  Wow!  Maltz describes the self-image as the "mental blueprint" or "picture" we hold of ourselves.  Basically, it is who you think you are.

Maltz describes how our beliefs about ourselves have "unconsciously been formed from our past experiences, our successes and failures, our humiliations, our triumphs, and the way other people have reacted to us, especially in early childhood."  He says that these experiences lead us to develop ideas and beliefs about ourselves, and that these beliefs become "truths" for us.  He points out that, unfortunately, we don't question the credibility of these "truths" and we operate our lives from them.  Of course, then, the results we get in our lives validate our "truths" enabling us to justify that they are indeed true.

"All your actions, feelings, behavior, even your abilities, are always consistent with the self-image," says Maltz.  Most of us have never even given our self-image a second thought.  Our lives are running on auto-pilot and we accept certain things about ourselves that may or may not be true. We have all probably heard ourselves saying, "that's just the way I am."  So, how do you change your self image?  Each of us has to assess ourselves, look at our patterns, and ask ourselves some questions.  If you've been struggling with something for a long time, take a look at your self-image in that area.  Might your self-image be contributing to your continued difficulty?

Ultimately, your most sincere and best efforts will be sabotaged by a negative self-image.  However, if you're able to identify how your self-image is negatively affecting your life you can begin to create a new self-image.  It will require some inner work to develop a new self-image, but the long-term positive impact it can have on your life will be worth it.  You'll begin to behave in ways that are consistent with your new self-image and you'll open up your life to many new and different opportunities and possibilities that didn't exist in the old self-image scenario.

The bottom line is that your self-image is the key to accomplishing all that you want and is at the root of many of your challenges and failures.  Having the right self-image may be the solution to your current struggles.  That's really good news because now you know that you have more control over how things are going in your life and fewer excuses for not making the changes that you want to make.

For an in-depth look at the self-image and related proven techniques for improving your life, please read, The New Psycho-Cybernetics, by Maxwell Malt, M.D., F.I.C.S.

Which Stage of Change Are YOU in?

According to James O. Prochaska, PH.D., there are six stages of change.  Sounds like a lot, huh?  Why would you even care about the stages of change anyway?  The reason is because understanding which stage you're in can help you to grow and to move forward with your goals more quickly.  You can even be in a different stage for each one of your goals. Following are brief explanations of the six stages and some questions you might ask yourself:

Stage 1 -- Pre-Contemplation
The pre-contemplation stage is the stage in which you may not even realize you have a problem.  You may have no desire or intention to change.  The person in pre-contemplation is usually in denial.  He or she will say things like, "I can't" or "I won't".  Prochaska writes that pre-contemplation, "indicates in many cases an active resistance to change."

*Are you in the pre-contemplation stage in any area of your life?
*Are you in denial about something about yourself or about your life?  Maybe a health issue?  A character trait?  A problem that needs to be resolved?

Stage 2 - Contemplation
The contemplation stage is where a person acknowledges a problem and is considering how to solve it.  The individual can see in his/her mind's eye that "change is on the horizon," as Prochaska puts it.  This person is thinking about his/her options.  Contemplators often move to the next stage, but some remain "chronic contemplators."  Prochaska describes these contemplators as those who "substitute thinking for acting, promising that they are going to act 'someday.'"

*Is there an area of your life in which you're in the contemplation stage?  Are you thinking about making any changes?
*Have you noticed any "chronic contemplation" tendencies in yourself?  Do you like to talk about your problems without ever taking any action to solve them?

 Stage 3 - Preparation
The preparation stage is the "getting ready" stage, and as Prochaska states, "brings you to the edge of action."  In the preparation stage the person begins to focus more on the solution than on the problem, and thinks more about the future than on the past.  A person may become excited about the change they are about to make in this stage. A hallmark of the preparation stage is commitment.  Prochaska claims that most people remain in the preparation stage for an average of 30 days.

*Are you in the preparation stage with of any of your goals?
*What types of things are you doing to prepare to make the change?  Are you reading or researching to gain necessary knowledge?  Do you have the resources you need to make the change?  Do you need support to make the change?  If so, have you asked for help?

Stage 4 - Action
The action stage is the stage when change starts to occur and the person makes a move.  This is also the stage when an individual will "go public" with the change they are making, indicating a readiness for change.  This is the busiest of all the stages and requires lots of effort and support.  Understanding any pitfalls that may trip you up is important in this stage so that you can be prepared for and overcome them.

*Are you in the action phase with any of your goals?
*Have you taken action on any important goals?  Have you "gone public" with any goals in the past?  Did "going public" make you feel more accountable to your goal?  How did you successfully overcome hurdles/challenges in the action stage?

Stage 5 - Maintenance
The maintenance stage is all about maintaining your goal once you've reached it.  Prochaska says that most people are in the maintenance stage anywhere between six months to a lifetime.  This is also a very active stage and is not a time for slacking off of goals; rather the maintenance stage is a time to ensure that the change is here to stay and becomes a permanent part of your life.

*Are you in the maintenance stage with any of your goals?
*Has it been difficult for you to maintain a change you've made?  What kinds of things can get in the way of making a permanent change?

Stage 6 - Termination
The termination stage is the ultimate goal, when you no longer have the problem.  For instance, if you had a goal of moving from one house to another there would be a clear end to the situation.  However, for most types of change people usually remain in the maintenance stage.  For example, staying at a healthy weight would require most people to remain in the maintenance stage.

*Are you in the termination stage with any of your goals?
*Do you typically remain in the maintenance stage? 

Can you see how you've moved through these stages in your life with various goals?  Remember, you can be in a different stage of change with each of your goals.

I hope this short summary of the six stages of change provides some insight about the change process. For more information or an expanded explanation of the stages of change, you can read "Changing for Good" by James O. Prochaska.

Introducing........the Gremlin!

Let me introduce you to.....the Gremlin.  No, he's not a furry creature from a science fiction movie or a character from a video game.  Actually, you know him quite well already because he lives with you every day.  He is the voice in your head who tells you destructive, life-denying untruths about yourself.  He is your inner critic.  Have you ever heard the voice in your head saying any of the following?

"You'll never make it."
"You're not smart enough."
"You've made such a mess of your life you'll never be able to change it."
"You're too fat and you'll never lose weight."
"You'll never be well."
"Nobody really cares about you."
"You'll make a fool of yourself."
"It's too late for you."
"You're too old to try something new."
"If people knew who you really were, they wouldn't like you."
"That's just who you are."
"You're all alone in this world."
"What makes you think you can do that?"
"You can't do that."
"Why bother?"
"It's going to be way too hard."
"You don't have what it takes."
"You'll look stupid."
"Other people are just smarter, funnier, thinner, and better looking that you are."

You certainly get the idea, and we can all relate to at least one or two of the lies above.  In his book, Taming the Gremlin, Rick Carson calls the Gremlin, "...a vile, vicious, villainous, insufferable bully lurking in the shadows of your very own mind."

Where does the Gremlin come from?  He comes from the past and his voice comes from things you heard or learned from teachers, parents, friends, spouses, co-workers, authority figures, and from comparing yourself to other people.

The Gremlin is sneaky so you might not recognize him right away, but I can give you some clues.  When you see yourself feeling or behaving in the following ways the Gremlin may be at work:  procrastinating, stalling, blaming, being defensive, feeling fearful or anxious, feeling apathetic, flip-flopping on goals, feeling a lack of motivation, and more.

So how can you get rid of the Gremlin?  By shining a light on him, by becoming aware of his endless chattering in your mind, and by understanding that the negative voice is not really you.....and it's not true.....unless you believe it.

Energy Sappers

A phone call you've been putting off....a repair you've been meaning to take care of....an apology you know you should make...a bill you're avoiding paying....a task at work that you're procrastinating doing....some cleaning you're dreading....a goal you're postponing.

What do all of these things have in common?  They're energy sappers!  They're stealing precious energy from you and you may not even realize it.  The reason is this:  The things that you ignore in your life begin to use up your resources.  For instance, if you believe you "should" exercise, but you don't do it, you begin to feel badly about it.  Feeling badly or guilty about something steals emotional energy, which saps physical energy.  So, even though you're not doing the exercise, you're actually using the energy it would take to do the exercise itself, but you're not getting the benefit and, worse, you're hurting your body and getting the guilt!  Whew...what a vicious circle!

Have you ever noticed that you avoid certain rooms in your house? Or that you feel good in one room and not the other?  Do you sigh when you look at the pile of papers on your desk?  Or get a sick feeling in your stomach when you think about the phone call you need to make?  You can actually feel your physical energy change when you think of or come into contact with certain thoughts or places.  Maybe the clutter, broken appliance, thought, or memory is draining your energy.

So, how do you end this cycle?  Action!  Taking action, even the slightest action, toward addressing your energy sappers will begin to free up tremendous emotional and physical energy.  One very effective exercise you can do to begin to clear away your energy sappers is to create a list.  Write a list of 50 energy sappers in your life.  Walk through your house and identify that which needs to be repaired.  Think of important conversations that need to be had, problems that need to be addressed, phone calls that need to be made, bills that need to be paid, closets that need to be cleaned, health challenges that need to be overcome, goals that need to be pursued, etc.  Ask yourself what you've been putting off and putting up with in your environment and in yourself, no matter how small or large.

Once you've got your list of  50, decide that you're going to take 15 minutes a day (or 15 minutes a week) to begin to chip away at the items on your list.  I always tell myself that I can do anything for 15 minutes, no matter how much I dislike doing it.  You don't need to complete an item completely right away....you just need to start it and then keep whittling away 15 minutes at a time.  I like what my sister tells herself when she begins to procrastinate or feel lazy:  "Come on, get up!  You're stronger than this!"  You're stronger than that, too!

Go for it!

As you've entered the new year, what has been on your mind? What have you been thinking you'd like to change about yourself or to accomplish in your life? Do you have a particular health, weight loss, or fitness goal? Do you have a buried dream that you want to resurrect? Do you need a new job or want a different one? Do you have a desire to make a difference in the world? This is the time of year when we all start thinking about making a fresh start. We have hope in the year ahead and we feel we've been given a clean slate to become who we want to be....and we are right.

Now, ask yourself what, if anything, might be holding you back. Have you already started pursuing your goal? If not, why not?  Why haven't you already set yourself on a course to accomplish your goal, realize your dream, or make the change within yourself? We all have the same reasons that hold us back from living the lives we really want:  fear that we'll fail is a big one; not feeling like we deserve what we want is another; worry about what other people will think is a biggie; worn out recordings in our minds that tell us we're too old, that it's too late, that we're not smart enough, that it's going to be really hard, and on and on. Have you ever stepped back as a silent observer to listen to the bill of goods your mind tries to sell you every day? Most of it is garbage....and it isn't even true!

The truth is that you (all of you) are creative, resourceful, and whole and you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Do you realize that everything in your life started out as a thought? Do you want to make a change? Change your thoughts! Begin to think thoughts that are in line with your goals. Begin to question the worn out recordings playing in your mind that bring you down and start to believe the truth about yourself.  Make sure the picture you have of yourself is the "you" that you really want. Project yourself into the future and see yourself accomplishing your goals, living the life that you want, and being the person you want to be. The real you is not the negative recordings.The real you is great, strong, beautiful, at peace, loving, and joyful.

You were created in the image of Love, the most powerful force in the universe. Love is living on the inside of you and will help you to accomplish anything you want. And when you start pursuing your most cherished goals and dreams and living the life you truly desire you will start to get happy, and then you will pass happiness and hope on to others.


Yes, the new year gives us a clean slate, but every new day does, too. Go for it!